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Elitist Edge

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(no subject) [Oct. 12th, 2005|01:09 am]
Elitist Edge
[Feeling |chipperchipper]
[Listening to |Circle Takes the Square]

A 27 year old married man hit on me today at Starbucks. Good lord he was hot, although he had a shaved head, and I like hair on my partner's head, oh well.

We exchanged some info. I know what you're thinking, "But he's MARRIED!" But ya know... I could care less, whether we just hang out, or sleep together. We sat in Starbucks for about an hour and a half talking. He made me laugh the whole time. I'm not looking to get involved or anything, it just made my day for a hot guy to hit on me. About fucking time.

I think that's what I'm best at... Breaking up relationships. hah. Not my fault though!
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"You know I don't speak spanish!" [May. 9th, 2005|11:26 pm]
Elitist Edge
[Feeling |dorkydorky]
[Listening to |All That Remains - The Deepest Grey]

I've been applying like CRAZY for jobs in Sacramento. Today's Monday and I haven't gotten a SINGLE call. What the fuck? I've gotten some e-mails, but only from people saying they couldn't read my resume due to clashing Word programs. Gay. Tomorrow I'm going to the temp. agency and having them set me up for some jobs they have in Sac. I figure if Andy will let me stay with him, then why the hell not? He said I could stay until I can get out on my own. PLUS I wouldn't have to pay rent. He's rich, so money never matters to him. And even if that wouldn't work out for some odd reason, I've always got my bro's Andrew and John.

I saw my friend Garrett Saturday night. Ok, I've always seen the apartments in SF. Small, dinky, cramped closets pretty much. But Garrett lives a few blocks from the ocean, and it's like a 5 minute drive to Haight/Ashbury. His house is fucking HUGE. His room is bigger than my living room. I never knew SF had big houses. They look hella small from the outside. It's pretty cool too, he has to buzz you in downstairs in order for you to even get to the steps to get to the front door. I could ramble on about his house forever just because it was so rad. I wouldn't mind living there. Really. I know it's a huge city and all, but damn. That house alone would be worth it. I love visiting SF, ESPECIALLY when other people pay for my gas, haha.
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I'm living the life that I want to fucking live. [May. 4th, 2005|10:28 pm]
Elitist Edge
[Feeling |enthralledStoked]

And I couldn't be happier about it. Why hesitate out of fear when the opportunity is right in front of you? Why hold back over small details? Fuck that. This weekend has made me realize it's time to just let go, and do EXACTLY what I want to do.

So I'm going to do it.

I went to Sacramento, saw Josh, and had a nice time. I also stopped by John & Andrew's and chilled with them for a few hours, listened to them talk about their cars and tires (whatever), played video games, and just had fun hanging out. Then met up with Andy and grabbed some coffe, sat there and talked for a while. He proposed I stay with him and look for work in the Sac. area. The ONLY flaw in that plan would be my friends, my family. It would be too hard to leave them all behind. I mean, Kelly moved back here not that long ago, so things just feel right again. I think him being gone put a damper on everything before. Brandon and I are close as fuck, and so are Carlos and I. Nothing can break those bonds. I've met so many new people lately, and they aren't sketchy for once.

Thursday is Kelly's bands' (Dream Theory) show, so I'll be there doing photography, and this weekend we'll be doing a photoshoot around the bridge and the old cement factory. I am so stoked for that.

Crosby, Justin, Jacob, and David are all on MySpace now. HILARITY will ensue, and so will much more good times. I'm starting to think Kevin was wrong and that MySpace is actually a good thing, despite the occasional drama.

Yo amo mi amigos, yo amo mi vida. What more can I say? I may not have everything I want, but right now, I've got all I need.
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Maybe things are back to normal?? We'll see.... [Apr. 23rd, 2005|02:38 am]
Elitist Edge
[Feeling |thirstythirsty]
[Listening to |Ciara - One-two-step - hella Paula Abdul dance moves!!!]

Maybe I can write in here without dumb broads posting lame comments about stupid shit that was SO LAST WEEK. By the way, one of them thinks her happiness depends on how blonde her hair is. Seriously, whatthefuck?. Also, their attempted internet attacks failed. Everyone just asked why these broads hated me, I told them, and they chuckled and continued on with their own lives.

Anyway, on with the news:

My anchor tattoo turned out very good. If it's free, it's for me! Which is why I'm going back tomorrow to get another on my arm. I'm so glad I don't have to pay for this shit anymore. My brother is FINALLY getting his first as well. This is going to be hilarious. I'll take pictures of him in tears and post them on his MySpace comments. But see, I'm nice, I bought her a little photo-album to use for her portfolio so when she goes tattoo-job hunting, she'll have something to show, and it will have a good presentation.

Next week I'm going to the bay area to spend time with my friend. Good, I need to get out of here for a day or so. We're going to watch movies at his place and just chill.

My bro's are fighting over something RI-fucking-DICULOUS. They'll kiss and make up in a day or so, no real worries. It just kinda sucks because when they fight, Brandon won't come around and Carlos acts all pissy, and I have to be the middle-man. They're so fucking retarded for eachother. I love them. <3 I wish Kelly would hang around more too, but he and Brandon don't get along AT ALL... Oh the male side of drama. So Carlos and I pretty much have to cheat on Brandon and hang with Kelly on Sunday's to watch he and his band practice, since that's the only time we're ever able to see him. Beau's a drunk, so no one ever really see's him. And Andrew... He falls off the face of the planet for weeks at a time when he forgets to pay his cell phone bill. Ya gotta love him though. I'll probably stop by his apartment on my way back from the bay to see him and his girlfriend Staci. She's actually all right. We're supposed to go shopping sometime soon.

I'll also see James again sometime next week. I can't get him out of my head. He's like no guy I have ever met. He's amazing, and I think I'm really starting to fall for him, which could potentially be hazardous. I don't know what to say to him. Well, I don't know how.

I could see us getting married, which is weird.
I never look at a guy and think, "Yeah, he's marriage material..."

Rain, thunder and lightning are sooo amazingly relaxing. I love nights like these.

ShaunfuckingPain, where are you when I need you most?
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"Now do the humpty hump!" [Apr. 11th, 2005|09:12 pm]
Elitist Edge
[Feeling |soreI hate headaches]
[Listening to |All That Remains]

So yes, I saw Ryan this weekend. I drove all the way to Vacaville like the retard I am.... Gas prices are outrageous and he's not even really worth it. I was just lonely I guess? Sex with him was annoying. Who watches a movie (Stigmata at that) while you're having sex? I was pissed, so I didn't really try. He probably thinks I'm a bad lay, but ehhh, whatever. It's funny though, I go to kiss and bite his neck and he grabs me and tells me to stop. Why you ask? He already has a girlfriend (hah), he doesn't want any marks so she won't question him. How clever. It's not like it's the first time we've done this. In a way, I hope he gets caught. I hope she or someone she knows will read this and pass it along. She's 16, she's young, she'll get over it. It's not like they love eachother. Ryan's just a horny, immature guy. Typical really.

Then the other night, I call Zach up just to say hi, see how things are, and we talk for a while, then we decide we're both bored, so we'll hang out. We agree to meet at Caldwell Park, at the usual spot.... So I get there and wait, and wait, and wait... A half hour passes, and I say fuck it and take off. At the stop light, I see him drive by... I decided not to turn around. He made me wait, and didn't bother to call and say he'd be late or anything. So I get home and figure he'll call and apologize, but nope. Not a damn thing. His loss.

Finally talked to James about things, and we're cool. He just works a lot and is real busy. I feel bad for him sometimes, he's 24 and has a lot of responsibilities, not to mention he helps out whoever needs anything at the drop of a hat. That's what I love about him (yet hate sometimes too).

So, all the lame guy shit aside, I can now get free tattoos. I'm stoked. Thursday is my first free one. It'll be this sweet anchor on the back of my calf. Then after that I'm going to start working on my arm again. I have so many ideas, but none that I'm ready to commit to. That reminds me, I need to look for pictures of the things I want, and bug Glenn about giving me my poster back, because that has the other sugar skull I want on my arm.

I'm getting back into my art thing, yet again. I'm weird about drawing and painting; I'll do it for a month straight, then I guess I get burned out and want nothing to do with it for another month or two. I love it though. I love art, and making things.

This weekend I have a date with Josh... Or John? Wow, I totally forgot his name. It starts with a "J" though, I know that for sure.

Things are back to normal. My bro's are back and that's all that matters. This entry is really lame, I think I'll delete it later.
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Frisco Fiasco. [Apr. 2nd, 2005|11:52 pm]
Elitist Edge
[Feeling |hyperhyper]
[Listening to |Converge, bitches!!]

Yesterday was the BANE/COMEBACK KID/WITH HONOR/gay opening acts show, and I FUCKING WENT TO THAT SHIT AND IT WAS DOPE AS FUCK.

I drove from RDG to Sacramento to meet up with Andrew (who had just woken up whenI got there, around 3:30-4:00pm, slacker), we both changed, cleaned my car out because he lives in a fucking GHETTO ASS apartment complex by the university, and I wasn't about to have my shit get stolen. Anyway, we hop in his car and head to SF in the gayest traffic possible. Everyone was getting off work and shit so traffic was stop-go-stop-go for like an hour. It pretty much took us 2 hours to get to SF, when it should've taken less than an hour.

So we get there, take the RIGHT exit, but then it somehow forks off into two other exits, and we obviously took the wrong one because we got all turned around and were in downtown SF where everything's all nasty looking and run-down. So we pull over at some crust McDonalds, pee real quick, and luckily there was a chill cop parked right next to us cleaning his windshield, so we ask him directions, and we talk for like 10 minutes about music because I guess when he was younger he went to shows (sweet!), he gives us directions, and we're on our way.

Problem is... He forgets to tell us it's a three-way exit we have to take, and we're supposed to take the middle one, and we end up taking th one on the right. So we drive FOR-FUCKING-EVER around and end up going through Broadway (where all of the crazy ass porn shops and strip clubs are), and fucking CHINATOWN. If you've ever been to SF, then you know what I'm talking about. Sketchy ass crusty asian people straing you down like they're going to murder you... Yeah, it ws nuts, so we got out of there REAL fast. We drive a long way, trying to look for streets that look familiar on the map, but we fail to recognize anything, so we end up somewhere near Vermont and like 7th street or some shit, which is the only areas of SF we know because Slim's and Bottom of the Hill and The Parkside are all around that vicinity. Then somehow Andrew gets the bright idea that The Pound is near Pier 29. Okay now... There's no such pier in SF with the number 29 on it. So finally, we're at a dead end on Hyde, Andrew whips out his cell phone, calls his friend Mark(?) back east, tells him to jump on mapquest to get us directions from Hyde to Cargo. Simple, right? No... OF COURSE NOT. Neither of us had a pen, so I had to run into this nautical gift-shop (which I wish I would've bought something from because tht place had some awesome shit), and ask to borrow a pen and have some paper.

Finally, we get directions from Hyde to Cargo. Low and behold, we get lost again. We turned right onto Evans, but after a mile or so we thought it was sketchy and didn't look right, so we did a U-turn back down Evans... That way wasn't right either, it took us back to 3rd. So we turn around again, but keep going until finally... We see Jennings on the left. I could've made love to that fucking street sign. So we make it to The Pound (which, by the way, is the SHITTIEST fucking venue ever. It's a really big garage basically), but the story doesn't end there, oh no...

We didn't buy tickets in advance, so we still faced the chance of the show being sold out. So we stand in line for what seems to be an eternity, and the front door dude was pretty awesome. See, they can only let kids in that are buying tickets at the door, if so many that already pre-paid haven't showed up. It's this whole fire code issue that I would go into detail about, but it's boring, so I will spare you. Anyway, the doorman was like "Why aren't you guys yelling at these kids showing up late? They're the one's keeping you out here." So after about 2 people walk in every 5-8 minutes, I'm starting to get pissed because god damnit, I didn't drive all that way to get there and be denied because the fucking show sold out. FUCK THAT. So I start yelling at the kids walking in late, and the doorman was like "YEAH!! RIGHT ON!!" And about 5 minutes later, he lets us in all because I started getting an attitude. I fucking rule. We missed the first two bands, but who cares? Life Long Tragedy are good and all, but I wasn't going to the show to see THEM. So I could care less either way. Silent Drive suck, fuck them anyway.

So, you can pretty much figure out the rest of the story from there. We see the 3 bands we wanted to see. A typical hour and a half drive to SF from Sacramento took us 4 hours, but all-in-all, it was worth it. The best part of it all was neither of us really cared about being lost. It was fun, it was sort of an adventure. The whole way there Andrew and I just chilled, and reminisced about the old days when we all lived together. I love that kid. I'm glad he's my bro. On the other hand, his girlfriend is annoying, but that's a whole other entry.

Anyway, after the show, we drive back to Andrew/John's apartment, and we all stay up until 4am catching up, cracking jokes, and thinking about how awesome the old days were. I miss them, I wish they didn't move. After this though, I know we'll all be seeing a lot more of eachother. They're my bro's, we all love eachother, nothing is ever going to break that bond.

Tonight was rad too. I hung out with Kelly and watched him and his band practice. I'm not into their music, but it was fun. I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO TWO-STEP (score)! One day he and I will hook up. If Carlos wasn't there, it would've went down.

Agenda for Sunday : Sin City at 12. Perhaps followed by a drive to Vacaville? Who knows.

I can't believe dudes jock me.
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Work is for suckers. [Mar. 16th, 2005|10:16 pm]
Elitist Edge
[Feeling |giddywoooooooooo!]
[Listening to |AN]

Today was my first day on my "externship" for Lake College. I pretty much work for free for 40 hours, and I'm pretty much the office bitch. Yee-haw.

I will probably be seeing Mr. Blood within the next few nights. That's always good. Although the 3 hour drive to Vacaville sucks, what's worse - the drive back here. It's worth it though.

Had a "date" last night with James. It went amazingly well. He's very sweet, gentlemenly-like even. I'm so glad he likes Family Guy too. We plan on seeing eachother a lot more. Who knows, it may turn into something? I'm not getting my hopes up this time though. But - it's nice to be with a nice guy for once. It's a good change.
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As the sun sets... [Nov. 23rd, 2003|06:01 pm]
Elitist Edge
You aren’t shit.

You’re not, I’m not, and no human being that has ever walked the face of the planet is even remotely important when you look at the big picture. We’re important to US, but like I said, WE aren’t shit, so the significance of anything important to us is just a matter of perspective. You’re just another bug on a rock spinning in space.

The ego tricks you.

Your survival instincts and DNA will try very hard to convince you that YOU are important. You’re special. It’s very, very important that YOU survive, even if all the other people around you don’t.
It’s just a biological trick, and in some part of my mind that’s only running in the background I’m aware of it, but it’s really brought into the foreground when I fly.
It’s only a matter of time before something ends this planet.
And you know what? In the greater spectrum of the universe, it’s not even really going to be a tragedy.

Considered along with the constant, and incredibly immense events occurring every second of every day in the universe, it’s barely even going to register. No more than how the death of a single spore of mold affects you.
Look up at the sky.

Right now, as I type this, black holes are devouring entire solar systems, sucking them in to a force of gravity that we couldn’t even begin to comprehend, and pulling them down into the event horizon, crushing enormous planets many times larger than the earth into something that would barely be viewable on a microscope.

There is something like 100 billion stars in this galaxy alone. Each star represents a solar system, and this galaxy is one of 50 billion galaxies in the known universe.

Do you really think it matters if the earth survives?
Do you really think it matters if humans survive?
Do you even think that biological life is “important” at all? Isn’t the universe itself alive in a way that’s far more impressive and significant than anything “biological?”

Who will win American Idol? The finals were scheduled to air only 3 days after the asteroid hit, and I really want to know who the people picked. Are they really going to cancel Friends?
Since there are no more TV stations, can they do it as a play? I heard that Joey and Rachael were still alive...

The living people will gather together and pick leaders.
Even in an obvious holocaust, they will decide that people can’t handle the truth.
They will tell lies, but people will believe them, because they need hope.
They want the old ways to return.
Women want to have children, without worrying about them getting eaten by animals.

If the great flood hit, and only a few thousand of us survived, what would life be like?

How long would it take, if we had no books, before we discovered electricity again?
How long before we broadcasted images through the air again?

It could take thousands of years.
With everyone concerned with survival, the time for innovation would be few and far between.

Eventually, electricity will be re-invented for perhaps the 3rd or 4th time in the written, and lost history of the humans.

We like to think that we’re smarter than people from the recent past, but all we have over them is the improved ability to communicate. We have the internet.
We can talk to people from anywhere and everywhere.
We can pretend to be 13-year-old girls to lure in perverts.

But where would we be without a company to make the parts?
If all the parts and manufacturing plants were 400 feet under the ocean, how long would it take for me to figure out how to make one on my own?
The answer is it would never happen.
Not in 500 years.
What would the most advanced coders and programmers do if they were stuck in the wooded peaks of mountains?
They would try to survive.

Would they have children?
Perhaps.
Would they pass down the knowledge of computers?
They would tell stories, and try to explain it, but by the time their grandchildren have grandchildren, it will all be nothing but myth.
No one would have a phone to communicate with.
Languages would evolve and morph, and if you traveled just a few hundred miles, it would be like stepping into a foreign country. Sort of like how it is now in other parts of the world. With what little the average American knows about the very things that shape our society, within two generations, all would be lost.

Our documentation of our achievements is all on flimsy, fragile mediums like paper and hard drives. The spoken word can’t be trusted even today with full control over mass communication.
For the most part, people are liars with weak minds. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, we still teach our children that Columbus discovered America, and Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

I watch documentaries about the pyramids and all sorts of ancient structures that we can’t explain, and it’s all beginning to make sense.
We’ve been this way before, and it’s probably not the last time this is going to happen.
This is all just temporary, and people are going to start again from scratch.

Who knows, maybe they’ll even get it right this time.
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